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- Because HE Opens As John Connor Tomorrow
- Because You're An Academic
- Because Broadway Is Actually Good This Year
- Because You're Scared Of Your Brain Off Drugs
- Because Grace, Style & Fresh Flowers Don't Come Cheap
- Because You Find These People Deplorable
- Because Your Grandparents Immigrated
- Because Your Dog Is Too Good For A Wee-Wee Pad
- Because You Haven't Become This Desperate...Yet
- Because Your Friend's Parents Got Bored In The Winter
- Because You Remembered Your Dream
- Because You Ascribe To New York Magazine
- Because You Are Getting Old
- Because The UES Small Dog Park Is a Bloodbath
- Because You Have An Addiction To Pain
- Because You Have To Pay For That Attitude & Incomp...
- Because It's Just So Fucking Good
- Because You Live With Kafka's Metamorphosis
- Because You Have Become Amish
- Because Your Heels Have Eroded And They Aren't Wor...
- Because You Need New Business Cards
- Because Your Lil Bubba Is A Lil Beast
- Because Ed McMahon Can't Leave His Hospital Bed
- Because It Rains Every Day
- Because You Have Fallen Victim To Corporate Greed
- Because You Maxed Out Your First Credit Card
- Because They Are Sold Out At Duane Reade
- Because The Incentives To Work Are Long Gone
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