I don't even eat this shit!
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- Because You Keep Forgetting To Hit Snooze
- Because You're Going To Get Swine Flu
- Because You Were Told To Be More Engaged At Work
- Because Duane Reade & Your Doctor Are Conspiring A...
- Because Everyone Seems to be Mistaking Me For The ...
- Because You Are Not Nearly This Efficient
- Because You Can Buy Anything On The Internet
- Because It Was Cheaper Than A Life-Size Portrait
- Because You Totally Agree With This
- Because You Are A Stage Mother
- Because You Got Laid Off Even After You Took A Bullet
- Because They Are Still Drinking Your Milk
- Because This Is In Iraq
- Because of International Taxes on Flights
- Because Your Outfit Got Soaked
- Because Your Puppy Survived Having Her Ovaries Rem...
- Because Shitheads Steal
- Because This Should Be Us
- Because NYC Unemployment Is Less Than Everywhere Else
- Because You Have Some Serious Rage Attacks
- Because You Are A Masochist When You Worry
- Because You're Not Willing To Sacrifice A Limb...Yet
- Because Your Baby Is Getting Surgery Tomorrow
- Because You Don't Live in Canada or Europe or Any ...
- Because You Would Have Looked Stupid Otherwise
- Because You Gave Money To Obese Children
- Because You Would Rather Be Evicted, Starve and Mo...
- Because Your Dog Has a Vagina
- Because Now I Have To Go To Home Depot To Buy Supp...
- Because You Are An American And These Are Your Right
- Because Your Amazing Friend Is Getting Married
- Because One Of Them HAS To Give You A French Visa
- Because I'm Going to Fucking Impress You...Or Walk...
- Because The Office Mutants Drink All Your Milk
- Because The Long Island Rail Road Thinks It's Amtrak
- Because You Have Absolutely Zero Consistency or Drive
- Because No Matter How Hard You Try Someone is Alwa...
- Because After This You Will Never Get A Job Again ...
- Because This Is Illegal
- Because You're Too Lazy to Hold Your Mobile
- Because Using a Camel Carcass as an Apartment is N...
- Because, Through It All, You Have Somehow Managed ...
- Because You Want to Forget How Broke You Are
- Because Idiots Keep Coming Into the Office Sick
- Because The World Is Starting to Look Like a Giant...
- Because People Are Fucking Incompetent
- Because Being Broke is an Endless, Cyclical Trap T...
- Because Duane Reade Has Inescapable Subliminal Adv...
- Because You Think This is Somehow Acceptable
- Because You Moved to New Jersey
- Because You Majored in Print Journalism at NYU
- Because Your Office Chair is Disintegrating
- Because You Are OCD
- Because NYC is Like the Wicked Witch of the West
- Because You're Sheep...Bottle-Blonde, Unemployed S...
- Because You Believe in Bono More Than God
- Because It Is Unsafe to Use the Library
- Because You Have to Buy Your Own IPod
- Because Hair Colorists and Stylists are NOT the Sa...
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