Because You Are OCD

When I was a child, my favorite daily activity was playing secretary and running a scheming library service for my sister. I would charge her to take books out of my collection and mark them with a stamp, all while answering the house phone and making lists of the Barbies I owned and the people I hated.

Since then I have remained a diligent list-maker and nothing infuriates someone with OCD more than not being able to cross off each item on the list. Enter CRUMBS, the cupcake chain that screamed at me for bringing my poor, innocent, puppy into the store, and charges $4 a cupcake.

OCD has forced me (and I mean FORCED) to try every cupcake available and made me delusional enough to think that I can burn them off walking the three blocks back home (one time I even ran home in an attempt to accomplish this feat). At $4/cupcake, 2-3 times a week this can add up when you're broke. One would think that buying the small sample pack would be a good choice, but then one would be an idiot, because who wants a bite-size cupcake? Let us women have at least some form of a real orgasm.

If you don't believe me, look at this extensive list.

And the bastards keep adding on to it. Even some idiot from Howard Stern got his own cupcake. Three down, infinity to go, massive cellulite to gain, more money spent on cupcakes to make self feel better about weight gain from said cupcakes. It's the never ending cycle of poverty.