Seriously, is everyone and their mother competing in some sort of marathon or bike race or soap box derby this spring? I keep getting hit up to sponsor this crap. Just today I've been squeezed for a leukemia marathon, a diabetes bike race and who the hell knows what else. At this point I think people are digging through my wallet in order to fight male pattern baldness and find a cure for swimmer's ear. I value both my friends and charity immensely and I am trying to be generous, but c'mon guys. Can't we try to spread this out a little? I'm starting to get a sneaking suspicion that you're all just pocketing the money yourselves, which only increases my resentment over this whole issue because it means you were more clever than me in coming up with the scheme. So instead of pocketing my entire paycheck in small increments why not just bring me in on the fun. You've got the brains, I've got the looks...
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