Because NYC is Like the Wicked Witch of the West

Yes. Just bear with me a moment on this one.

I recently seem to have survived some sort of massive ritual cleansing of the employment rolls here at my workplace. As a result of this little bit of "reorganization" I have new hours and a new supervisor who was very clear about the importance of punctuality now that I am like his only employee. Now, I am generally on time for work with the exception of that one time I missed my alarm and showed up two hours late and no one noticed. I guess I'm the one that didn't get fired because no one actually knows I'm even here. However, I wanted to be particularly sure that I was punctual today as it would be my first day working under the new boss and we all know that crap about first impressions.

Well it's raining a little bit, which is not a highly unusual phenomenon for April, but somehow this minor meteorological phenomenon seems to have brought the city to a grinding halt. Can some please explain to me how the weather causes all of the trains to be delayed? They are UNDERGROUND, for God's sake. It should be of absolutely zero relevance to the subway system that there may be rain, hail or a plague of locusts above ground. And yet, without fail, the tiniest bit of water seems to cause the trains to inch along the rails in an agonizing display of incompetence.

Then there's all you people! Why on earth should I have to stand in a line to exit the subway station? Just walk up the stairs like you do every goddamn day. It's a little bit of rain; it won't kill you. I sound like someone's mother, but I just can't bring myself to care. And please, please wait until you have completely exited the station before opening your entirely unnecessary golf-sized umbrella so that you don't take out my eye with it. Once you get out of there, you're clearly still going to block the entire sidewalk with it as you shuffle along, refusing to let me pass. Two seconds ago you were horrified at the thought of getting wet, now you're casually strolling through the rain like it's a nice day at the park. I am LATE for my JOB - a job that I need in order to pay my bills.

If I get fired I'm totally suing the MTA and anyone and everyone who got off the 6 train at 59th street this morning at 9:00. You've been warned.